Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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