i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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