Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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