so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
