Need sex. Gaining weight.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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