M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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