Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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