there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I have post one night stand depression
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
