Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
