Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
