I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i dont even know how to be here
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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