halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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