Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
