i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
