How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
