My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
