Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
