I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
