id be glad to
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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