She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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