Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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