I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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