saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
ttyl tear gas
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
