I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
