She is in my trunk
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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