Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Holy shit dude........stairs
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
