Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
