Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
