some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He passed out mid-signature
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
