This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
