yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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