How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
