we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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