addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
