i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
