Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I see more hoeing in ur future
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