Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
