Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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