I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
