I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
