is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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