OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We are two peas in an std pod
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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