i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
