he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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