She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
