youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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