I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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