I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
