Whats the glycemic index on semen?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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