all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
